Guide to Texting a Girl
Written by a Fearless contributor and edited by the fearless staff.
Before you begin texting a girl, you need to consider what your end goal is.
- Are you trying to get a ton of dates?
- Are you trying to get a hot girlfriend, get married, or is it just for the sex?
For me personally my main focus is to have as much fun as I possibly can while texting or in any situation. If you’re truly having fun the results will come naturally.
No matter what your goal is, you need to know exactly how to text a woman. It's important because texting replaces the time that you're not communicating face to face, and keeps you from being “out of sight, out of mind” as well.This guide will cover various topics such as how to text her in a way that not only gets and keeps her attention, but excites her as well, how to properly use emoticons to make conversation engaging and fun. Getting a girl's phone number is simply the first step to seducing through texts. But before you can get the girl, you need to know what, when, and how much to text her to keep her interested, while not making you seem needy and desperate. This will help you get the girl dying to meet you, go out on a date, and also what to say when she stops texting, while still keeping her interested.
This guide will also cover some common mistakes made during texting, and how to avoid making them, as well as how to stop texting, leaving her to anticipate the next text. If you don't know how to start flirting with a girl in texts, it bores her, and there's one thing that will happen when she gets bored. She starts to text other people, who keep her interest, and excite her. She'll stop texting you, and you won't figure out where it went wrong.Your first message is crucial, as first impressions are everything, especially in text. The first text is the part where most mistakes happen. Sending generic, boring messages is just about as bad as not sending anything at all. There are three factors that base a girl's decision to text you back.Girls are more likely to text back if they're in a good mood, and their day is going smoothly. However, if things aren't going so well for her, then the chances of her responding drastically decrease, especially for someone she just gave her number to. Another factor that will determine if she will text you back is how she feels about you.
Girls will immediately text back anyone they're close to; their mother or friends being at the top of the list. If it's a person from work, chances are she'll answer them too, as well as for an appointment she's made somewhere. However, if it's someone who she just met while at a bar, or out with friends, and gave her number to them then there's a good chance they're at the bottom of the list of people she'll text back.A key factor is about how she feels about the actual text. A text that doesn't make her feel anything typically won't get a quick response; or maybe won't get one at all.
If your text really gets her attention, making her laugh or smile, or just piquing interest, she's more likely to text you back. And if it's something that excites her and even arouses her, she's much more likely to send a text back right away.However, if a girl doesn't respond, you may be thinking that she's just ignoring you. Though it could possibly be true, there's just as much chance as it not being, so keep in mind the above points, before you jump to a conclusion and possibly end up making a major mistake.
This is very true. There are many reasons why a girl won’t text you back and a lot of times it simply has to do with the fact that she’s bombarded from texts with guys and yours simply got lost in the noise.
Now back to what you should remember for those first couple messages to best stand a chance at getting a response, and getting her hooked.Typically, your first message should be something about the place you both met, and how it brought you together. Keeping in mind where it was, with who you both went, and what the two of you were doing could quite possibly play a crucial role in that message. The more specific you are in that text, the higher chance she'll remember the feelings again, and make her want to experience them again.
Usually I like to have the first text be a natural continuation of our conversation. Also when we first meet I like to give her a cute little nickname so that when I text her it immediately triggers those feelings of when we met and why she gave me her number in the first place
For example; if you met at a bar, mentioning something about it, such as what happened while you were talking, other people that were there, or something funny that happened, or where you went after that. If it was at a party, then you can simply ask her if she enjoyed being there, and what brought her there. No matter what it was that brought you two together, bringing it up could not only bring back the fun that she had when meeting you, but also make her think about going somewhere else, especially with you.
Now that you know when to, and how to, first message a girl to get her interest, it's time to focus on some other fairly critical pieces of a text when flirting.Once you actually have the girl's number it’s a common practice to not text her right away, or you may seem too desperate, and be ignored. This is simply not true. You shouldn’t put too much thought into texting. Text her whenever you feel like. Your life shouldn’t revolve around when you text her rather the opposite.
A key part to texting is that your texts should not look like they were written out by a child, then almost no girl will take it seriously. Spelling mistakes happen, but taking some time to try and use proper grammar in your texts will go a lot further, and shows them that you care at least a little.
Almost every girl i’ve asked says spelling mistakes are a huge turn off. However with that said if the girl likes you enough she won’t care. Sometimes I’ll purposely do a ton of spelling mistakes just to mess with her a bit 🙂
Your texts should have some substance to them, rather than a single word text, such as “Hi.”. This will not only make it more difficult to work into asking her out on a date, but will also drastically decrease the chances of it going somewhere else as well. If you're going to send a text with “Hi” in it, you should at least add something else that will get her to respond, so be unique and creative in your texts.Keeping your texts short, fun, sweet, and lighthearted will make her more likely to engage in more conversation with you, possibly leading to a meet up, a date, or something more. One or two sentence messages, especially in a fun and playful manner can keep things flowing; sending long paragraphs to her make it seem as if you are desperate and needy, or have no life outside.
If all you do is say, “hi”, and leave it at that then you're texting will probably go nowhere and rightfully so because you’re not providing any real value. You’re just writing, “hi” and then hoping she’ll entertain you. Also it really doesn’t matter that much how long your texts are as long as you’re being authentic and having fun with it. There’s never a text that’s too long. Only a text that’s too boring or too needy.
It's also very important to keep drama out of texting, and save that for conversations in person.When you ask a girl about herself, it shows that you care, but be sure to keep the questions simple, and about what she's done recently, while avoiding making it sound like an interview or interrogation, rather than trying to get to know her.Even if your goal is simply to build attraction and get her into bed, it doesn't mean you should simply cast aside her personal feelings. If her day was rough, then be sensitive, and if necessary, just give her some space to cool down and relax from it; don't pester her, or she might just close you off completely. Getting a girl to smile when she reads your texts, she's much likelier to respond each and every time.
If your conversation is flowing well, you should be the one to end it, leaving her to want more. It's always best to end a conversation before stretching it too far, and running out of things to say, and making things boring.Remember to always flirt, while also pushing for some type of a meet up with her, without sounding desperate for it. If you stop flirting with her, you're much more likely to be put in a friend-zone.
This is a very needy frame. You should text her whatever you feel like texting her. If you’re running out of things to say it’s only because you’re either a needy pussy who can’t hold a conversation or the girl isn’t giving you enough to work with which happens a lot however it’s not her fault. She’s used to guys keeping the conversation going for her.
Using emojis in a conversation can make them more intriguing and fun, as long as they're simple, and lighthearted. Don't overdo it by using a fancy one, or ones that create an entire picture, as she might lose interest quickly. Emojis can also help when making bold invitations to her, and make her more likely to consider, or even agree to. Emojis are also key when the other person can't see your facial expression, making it harder to gauge your reaction, which often results in miscommunication and misunderstandings, causing offense to be taken. But if you use emojis properly, this is less likely to happen, and can even make texting a lot more fun for both of you.
When girls use emojis in texting, it's almost always a sure sign they like you; they often only use them for people they are, or want to be, closer to. So using emojis can be a great way to gauge a girl's interest in you, and help you figure out your next move. However, you shouldn't simply send an emoji as either a way to start conversation, or out of nowhere, and should always let her send more than you. Using them too often makes it seem that you're trying too hard, so use them appropriately, and only in relevant situations.It's easy for a girl to ask a guy out on a date; all she has to do is ask him. It's a lot different when a guy wants to ask a girl out. First, make sure that she likes you back. If you like her, but she doesn't like you, or not as much as you like her, it's not very likely that she'll agree.
Be very careful not to overuse emojis because guys tend to do it a lot. Girls aren’t stupid and can understand most jokes even in the absence of an emoji. When you’re thinking of putting an emoji into the conversation ask yourself, “If I was texting my guy friend right now would I be using an emoji”? If the answer is no then you probably shouldn’t be using them.
Before you actually ask her out, you should have at least an idea for a place to go beforehand. Asking a vague question such as “Do you want to hang out sometime?” makes it more common that she'll either back out, or simply say no. If you had just met, and want to go out already, make it somewhere interactive, social, and short, rather than somewhere like going to a movie where it could possibly make things uncomfortable and awkward, ruining enjoyment for both.Before you actually ask her out, starting with small-talk, asking about her and her day can help determine her level of interest and current mood, making it easier to ask her. If she's in a light mood and happy, then you might have a better chance of her agreeing to go out. On the other hand, if she seems to not be in a good mood, then it's best to simply not ask her out at all. If you do ask her, rather than giving a vague time to go out, you should have some time frame in mind, so rather than her thinking about if she actually wants to, she'll be thinking of what time would be best for her to go out. If she agrees to go out, tell her what you will be doing to get ready, and that you will see her later, or whenever the date is planned. If she rejects, then it might be best to simply end the conversation, telling her it was nice to talk to her. However, if she offers an alternative, then simply work out what's best for both of you, and go from there.
The advice here is solid however the underlying frame is very needy. The more you understand who you are and what makes you happy and what you enjoy doing will ultimately determine how successful you are. If you’re enjoying yourself then chances are the girl will feel it off you and also enjoy your vibe. She’ll also feel that you don’t need her, you’re already having a good time and you’re inviting her along for the ride.